If you know it’s time to make some changes in your life, you are not alone. According to a 2018 Forbes article, 79 percent of employees cite “lack of appreciation” as their reason for quitting their jobs.
Likewise, negative mental outlook causes many people to seek alternative means of happiness in the form of a new phone, a new car,a designer bag, or more money – when in fact it comes from within. In Psychology Today’s article, 10 Simple Ways to Find Happiness, the top two listed ways to be happy are:
• Being with others who make you smile
• Holding on to your values
I’m a fan of both, however I feel it’s important to integrate something much deeper – finding your purpose.
I’ve struggled with this and found surprising solutions through the toughest times. After the birth of my son, I felt as if every aspect of my life had been turned upside down and backwards. I felt conflicted and unable to identify who I was.
I used to care so much about my career, but it became a struggle to focus and articulate my new normal – and new priorities – all while struggling with mom guilt.
Suddenly I was a mother and it felt like every other part of me faded away. As much as I loved my son at first sight, I feared the idea of losing myself in the life-altering transition to first time mom, and later the adjustment to career mom.
Eventually, I realized I couldn’t manage this overwhelming life change alone. I needed help. My doctor recommended seeing a therapist, which caused me to hesitate – a lot. It felt weak to ask for help, but I was desperate for relief and mental clarity.
My son deserved to have a mom who could be stronger than this.
The next few months abruptly changed how I viewed my life. I went to weekly counseling sessions and regular doctor appointments.
I learned so much about myself and what it means to truly be happy. It’s so easy to make the mistake of searching for happiness externally.
I felt liberated when I realized and implemented the following strategies in my daily life – and discovered the power of changing my perspective.
I hope these tweaks in thought process provide a fresh perspective and hopefully help you to experience a change of heart in your situation.
Realize Nothing is Permanent
Regardless of your current situation, it is important to understand that moments and life events are fluid. They move and shift like the ocean with strong currents to move them along. They are here for a time then they fade away and bring new chapters.
Even changes involving the end of life are a season – and come full circle when you can see your loved one again someday.
When my grandfather died of Alzheimer’s in 2011, my family and I were devastated. No amount of preparation could have made it easier to say goodbye. One thing that helped me cope (and it still helps) is doing things that would make him proud of me – things I know he would want me to do in my lifetime.
You Are One Decision Away From a Different Life
Isn’t that crazy to think about? One decision can change everything. One decision could change your job, your relationships or your family dynamics. Let that sink in.
Close your eyes and realize how empowering it is to always be one choice away from a complete turnaround. Pretty amazing, right?
You can apply this to every aspect of your life. Make one decision that takes you one step closer to a major pivot – feel the strength and courage that comes from taking a bold step. Build on that momentum!
Strategy is Pivotal for Happiness
I recently spoke with a client who was unhappy in their job. They realized it was time for a change, but felt guilty that they couldn’t seem to make it work somehow.
The paragraphs below sum up my response:
Your best decisions should not feel forced. Carrying out good decisions doesn’t feel like work. It’s more like an adventure with twists and turns that are fun instead of fearful.
If there’s a decision you need to make, don’t be afraid to take the steps necessary for your health and well-being. Make a decision then create a plan full of small steps to get to your goal. You might need six months to get there, maybe even a year – but you’ll thank yourself for strategizing your way to a better life, as opposed to making panicked decisions in a stressful situation because you were in it far too long.
Are there strategies you’ve used to get to a better place mentally and emotionally? Please share your story in the comments below!